lilacpuddles

After almost three months of being employed as a vet tech, I have come to realize that it is nothing more than a glorifed custodian job. Seryoso. This job is insulting the following:

1. My education - Even before vet proper I had to go through the eye of a needle. I satisfactorily passed organic chemistry, biochemistry lab and research experimental design. In addition to all those math and science prerequisites, the pre-veterinary curriculum also consisted of sundry courses in arts, humanites and the social sciences. For awhile I was under the tutelage of the Philippine's finest minds in humanities and the liberal arts (e.g Dr Zafaralla, Dr Saniano).  Do I really do justice to that intellectual experience? Not if my job description is making sure treatment stations are stocked with enough alcohol bottles and dust mopping rooms after every exam.

2. My alma mater - Do you know what it takes to get into the University of the Philippines? The UP College Admission Test is considered the most competitive college entrance exam in the country. Close to 70,000 applicants take the exam every year and there are only about 10,000 qualifiers. That's 14%! I was part of that 14% in 2002! I belonged to the upper echelons of young Filipino minds. I am an Iskolar ng Bayan! Filipino taxpayers in part, paid for my education! I am such an ungrateful wretch that I am not paying my country back the oblation way, instead, I am now the UP alumna that is employed to hose down dog runs and scrub baseboards.

3. My parents - Sacrificed a lot to make sure I was living a comfortable life in Los Banos, in all my seven years living away from home. They paved the way for the completion of my education to make sure I was not mopping floors for a living. And yet, what do I do now? I measure cleaning solution in a syringe to make sure my dilution for the mop bucket is correct. I am sure they did not picture their daughter (who they never obliged to do housework), doing laundry as part of her future career.

4. My professors and mentors - Because they taught me everything they know so I can be a good doctor. Dr Landicho would turn over in his grave if he found out I am merely reconstituting drugs on Doctor's orders and not prescribing them myself. I was not mentored so I can put dead dogs and cats in a freezer. Graduating from vet school  was a walk in the park ....Jurassic Park. I did not make it out of there alive only to be employed now as a custodian who worries if she's contributing to shutting down the hospital in the set time expected by her co-janitors.

In conclusion, uuwi na ako. Joke lang. I was trying to recall why I applied for a tech job in the first place... I was too naive that time by thinking that it was going to help my overall clinical experience and prepare me for my clincal proficiency exam. Hey, it was not really all that bad because I get to brush up on radiologic techniques and blood draws and catheter placements. But if majority of your day, lets say  6 hours out of 8, consists of mundane cleaning and scrubbing then I am definitely throwing in the towel (in this case, rag). I believe there is something better out there. There is a job out there somewhere that is going to make use of the fact that I can interpret a 2x2 epidemiology table, and make me use the words that make me sound smart; (e.g. circovirus, morphologic diagnosis, chronic diffuse proliferative ileitis, necrotizing pancreatitis, and haemonchus contortus) on a regular basis.

So before I insult anybody further, (three guesses what my next step is). I'm excited!

 For two nights in a row, I had dreams that I was back home. In my first dream, I was at home but I was sick for some reason. Haha, get it? Home. Sick. Dreams are too funny. In my second dream, we were living in our old house in Malabon but it was somehow remodeled. I remember thinking in the dream that it was a waste to remodel the house, and it was such a shame because it really was so pretty, but what about when the rainy season starts and the floods start? Then it was explained to me that there weren't going to be any floods because the house is actually in the States. (Rewind loop sound effect here) Huh. What? Yes, so the deal was that the house was in limbo and my family back home could be living in the house, at the same time I was there, but just in different times or in a parallel universe. Kinda like that movie Lakehouse.

Okay so before it gets any weirder, I don't really need to do an in-depth analysis here that my sub-conscious is very homesick for home. Of course. I once talked to somebody that once you hit your twenties you'll have a hard time adjusting living in a different country. Don't get me wrong, I love being here and I'm not in culture shock or anything because we've been going here since I was 10 years old. This is just the longest time I've been away from good old Malabon and Manila. And Davao. 

I just really don't like all this sunshine. Phoenix wasn't called the Valley of the Sun for nothing. Ugh. Seriously, there are no clouds here. No trees. Just miles and miles of sand, rocks and Saguaros. I wake up in the morning and I get disgusted by the bright sunny day that makes everyone chipper. I step outside, and I feel my eyes burn, and a giant throbbing in the back of my head. Seriously. And it's not really even summer yet. I am living in the wrong state. My idea of a beautiful day is gray and half-blustery, with a slight drizzle that's just enough pitter patter to hear on the windows --- the kind of day where you can curl up in an overstuffed chair with a great fiction book.  

I am a tropical bird, not a desert bird. Tropical means lots of rain. In Arizona they will get ten days of rain. In one year. I'm not exaggerating. Tropical weather means enjoying the hot sun while the glittery blue ocean kisses your toes. None of that here either. Who am I kidding. I'm living in the wrong state. Did I already say that?   

Do you ever get that feeling where you're so tired you just fall asleep and die in bed? Haha well that's what happened to me (or to us) last night. I was so tired because I only got about an hour's sleep the night before, and had to wake up early to go downtown with E for some special "errands". I was waiting for him to get off work so I spent the whole day riding the DASH bus around the government loop and siting at the city hall park. Phoenix has a lot of bums and weirdos, by the way. 

So last night I had to cancel my tutoring (the moms weren't too happy about it, but so what, they've canceled out on me at the last minute too so screw that-- that's a story for another post), let realtors in the house (which I hate), took a hot shower, and after an express dinner of ribs and mashed potatoes just zonked out. The last memory I had was listening to the continuous murmur of the dishwasher. And I remember drifting off to sleep and thinking.... what condition in dogs makes a "washing-machine" murmur on auscultation? what condition in cattle has the same clinical sign?

To get my veterinary license in the United States, I am  registered under the ECFVG, until now I still don't know what that acronym means. Okay, so it is the: Educational Commission for Foreign Veterinary Graduates, which is governed by the AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association). They are the governing body for assessing clinical proficiency of foreign veterinarians who did not graduate from an AVMA accredited school.
I am taking Step 3 (BCSE), the Basic Clinical Sciences Exam, soon. This April, to be exact.
I have spent around $1240 so far to get to this point (around Php 57,000).
Step 4 (CPE) or the Clinical Proficiency Examination, will cost $5000 (around Php 230,000).
 
So why is UP Los Banos, the number one veterinary school in the Philippines, with faculty that have collectively amassed Ph.D's and post graduate studies abroad, not accredited by the AVMA? Because accreditation equals money, which of course, UP doesn't have. We are a third world country after all, so I guess $10,000 for accreditation is too much to ask from the UP budget. 

I wonder if any good hearted alumni have already proposed to the CVM that they should apply for accreditation? (And that they would find a way to raise money for it - hek hek) On the other hand, we probably won't even pass the accreditation. I have flashbacks of modified forks used as retractors in surgery, and blackouts in Tabon at 5 in the afternoon, so we have to finish our ruminant surgeries under the glow of flashlights. *facepalm*

So much for wishful thinking. 

An alternative to the ECFVG is the PAVE program (Program for the Assessment of Veterinary Education Equivalence), which is administered by the AAVSB (American Association of Veterinary State Boards). For the life of me, I don't know why they just didn't stick with one program for foreign veterinarians. It must be because it's a business.

Both the ECFVG and PAVE consist of 4 steps, which are pretty similar, except that Step 4 of the PAVE program could be accomplished by enrolling in a US AVMA veterinary college, and completing a clinical year. Either that, or take their version of the CPE which is the VCSA (Veterinary Clinical Skills Assessment). So why did I choose ECFVG over PAVE? I think I already compared this a year ago, while I was doing my research and I was still being wimpy about taking more exams, but cost and expense is almost the same for both programs. However, ECFVG is accepted in more states over PAVE. PAVE is accepted in 26 states ( I don't get why either, must be politics) -- but here's the catch, whether the state boards require ECFVG or PAVE, a foreign veterinarian would still need to take the NAVLE (North American Veterinary Licensing Examination) after completion of Step 3 of the ECFVG or PAVE.

If you think dealing with an ex-girlfriend is traumatic and stressful, try dealing with an uneducated ex-wife "bitch".

LOL. Seriously. This gives me an edge over ladies my age though, because I am dealing with something far beyond my years. I've always been dubbed precocious, ever since I was in kindergarten, but this is ridiculous. Something I do not wish for. On a positive note, it makes me want to pursue more studying. Grad school, MSc, Ph.D, the works. Just to keep my mind in the school of thought. I think I'm one of those people who would go insane if I'm not immersed in the sciences. So thanks to her, I might just have the persistence to earn a Nobel Prize someday. Oh wait, I stopped believing the Nobel Prize since Al Gore won. Oh well.

Gad. The things I do for love. Emmanuel, you owe me big-time.   

 So, because I'm dawdling again (doing other things aside from the stuff I'm supposed to really be doing), I came upon my daily clinical notes from Omaha Zoo. On slow hospital days, Julie would assign me to Animal Care and although I could choose a different area every time, I always requested to be placed with the Penguin staff. At the end of this entry, you'll know why.

Here were my notes from that day. (Of course I added the photos and captions for LJ)



13 Nov. 2008

 24 king
27 gentoo
29 rockhoppers
1 macaroni

I think I will lay an egg soon because I got mated by two penguins.  It is 40 F degrees inside the exhibit. I scrubbed the bergs and every spot of the exhibit with cool non-toxic soap, melted yesterday's ice, and shoveled away. Awesome, non-tropical work !

The first time the head keeper handed me the hose she said: "Its just like a fire hose."

Me, in my head:“Fire hose?!! And how the heck would I know how a fire hose would feel like? Don't they use that to ward people off in riots?!!”
I ‘ve never tried to operate any kind of hose, except for a garden hose. (Edit -- Actually, I have experienced using the power spray in a pig farm, I was just being dramatic in my head, that time)

Luckily, the pressure wasn’t too great. I was scared I would be blasted off into the penguin pond and die of hypothermia.

One of them was making that honking noise while raising its head looking upwards, and then another bird poked him in the chest using its beak, as if to say "oh shut up".  I broke out laughing. They are just hilarious!


Macaroni got on my lap and would even tolerate kisses! I love penguins! This is a picture of Macaroni after he finished cavorting with me.




Oh my god! And even they could make pooping really cute! It really makes a squirting sound, kind of like "feeewoootweeeet"




Penguins are fluffy and they don't smell like fish. Can you believe that. I wish you can hear how they are during feeding time though. The honking sounds are deafening. Honk!!







Those were the good old days in Omaha. I want to go back just to give my favorite zoo animals (and zoo people) a hug :)

 
First off, how did spammers find their way into LiveJournal? So annoying. 


http://www.timeanddate.com/counters/customcounter.html?month=Sep&day=15&year=2009&hour=11pm&min=54&sec=00&p0=197

Before my trip to the US last September 15th, 2009, I created this custom counter on the timeanddate website. I created a countdown because I was so in love with my boyfriend and couldn't wait to see him (he ultimately became my husband). LOL. So anyway, that clock's still up and right now it says:


It is 511 days, 21 hours, 26 minutes, 28 seconds,
since Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 11:54:00 PM (Phoenix time)

Cool huh. I have been in the US for 511 days. It's the longest time I have ever been away from home. Sometimes I do get homesick. For food mostly. And for naps in my own bed. And my Los Banos apartment. To stave off homesickness we got a dog (a.k.a. our son) named Gunner. He is a LabaRottie with a stumpy tail. He is a dodohead who eats rocks, chews on golf balls, blanket tags, rubber bands, and drinks from the toilet. It's like a scavenger hunt when I pick up his poo in the backyard. My greatest fear is an incident of intestinal obstruction or GDV. Mind you, I am still working on getting my license here and I have NO access whatsoever to free veterinary care. A surgery like that can cost up to a thousand dollars. So you can imagine my fears. I'm like a paranoid mother.




He weighs about 75lbs and thinks he's a lapdog. 

It's  going to be a high 98 degrees today in the beautiful Valley of the Sun.

Thank goodness I'm going to Cape Cod soon (on Sunday!). The ocean, here I come!! Oh to feel your waves kissing my feet, to feel your sand in between my toes, and that summer sun on my bare skin and that salty sea spray caressing my face.

The water's probably going to be 40 degrees though. You need a wetsuit to get in. (Reality setting in). Oh.

What I would give to go to a Davao beach and feel the above-mentioned.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/37391169/ns/sports-nba/

This happened last night and I felt like hanging myself after. Really guys. They could have nicked that game and then won in Phoenix on Saturday. What an awesome celebration that would be! But nooooooo they're choosing to go to game 7 (I am really claiming that win on Saturday).

Now that the elections in the Philippines are over, and we're turning over a new leaf (hopefully), I am much more optimistic about the progress of the nation. And so of course, the idealist in me comes out and the yearning to do something. My poor animals. Working here at a small animal hospital doesn't just cut it. Of course I get to see cool stuff, be spoiled with unlimited resources (like 5 catheters for one dog if they have crappy veins and one try doesn't get it in). I still want to practice what I went to seven years of school for. 

But then there's the fact that I can't leave just like that. We'll see. Hopefully a little ocean air will clear things in my head.

And this is why you're a classic, Roald Dahl.

"It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful. Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius."

Parenthood. It's not for everybody. So stop polluting the gene pool, the world already has enough stupid people.

It is 1am and I have to be up by 7 (or at least I have to be visible at work by 8am, so I don't really have to be up at 7am. 7.45 is fine) but I can't sleep although I've had a long, boring day. I needed to have some ramen in my system. Yes. I don't understand how it works either but I felt like a heroin addict on withdrawal (not that I know how that would feel, but just because I saw it on Law & Order today) and I just NEEDED to get my fix.

Now lets wait for the euphoria that a cup of MSG noodles will bring.

This morning I found myself cheering myself on (the voice was coming from that scary back of my mind consciousness). I do know I am such a wuss sometimes and I heard that "be more assertive" advice again. Which is probably good for this career path that I have chosen. So my consciousness was telling me "WTH criselda you graduated from the best school in the country (rethinks, but its true), okay, you graduated from the best vet school in the country! You can do anything!!" Lets hope I carry that pomp in me well enough for the remaining four more months. Experience is really the best teacher. But yuck that's so gasgas ha! Anyway, I mean,  While in vet school, I would never think of putting an elizabethan collar on a desert cottontail so she won't eat her stitches, right? So I am truly truly grateful for everything I'm experiencing now. I could even learn to love the dull moments. I can stand observing behind the scenes and handing out gauze but its killing me because the muscle memory in my hands is itching to withdraw a syringe plunger while my needle is perfectly sucking blood out from a vein. I should have done a hematology thesis.

I am reading "A Short History of the World" and it is amazing. Reminds me of my bucket list. Go to country with ancient civilization. Woot. Egypt. Peru. China. But when. And how. LOL

There's that euphoria now and I haven't even had more than 2 forkfuls.

That reminds me. Need to get chopsticks. I hate eating noodles with a fork. It doesn't seem right.

P.S. Kinkajous have the cutest little faces! I could just eat them up! Yes, I'm Asian so that could be half meant.